My 11 Point Surprise

Hey Vern: Imagine my surprise and delight to finally, finally get released from my training tonight, only to find something--what the heck?--under my windshield wiper as I tried to peel out of there. So I unbuckled and opened the door, and knew immediately who my secret admirer must be. 

I was touched, until I came home and did the point calculations for a bag of Swedish Fish. Yes, I understand that there are 3.5 servings in said bag. But you and I both know that, for grownups, 7 fishies does not a serving size make. So, yeah, it's 11. And now, instead of thinking of you as my secret admirer, I must dub you my secret saboteur. 

What you didn't know, my sneaky pal, is that I'm sitting pretty with 4-9 points left. I just may have 14 fishies. And a Bud Lite. -B.